I'm a spontaneous person
I'm impulsive
Yet I often do not act on those impulses
Those pulls in my head that say,
"Do it, just do it."
Sometimes when I'm around you I get those impulses
Because I want to pull you into a hug
Or suddenly cuddle my face on your chest
Because I'm that sort of person
I have trouble saying things
So I touch instead
But I've refrained
I kinda hate it
Because there is something about you that makes me happy
And I really want to show you
But...
Oh man, how do I get here?
Laying on the couch at three o'clock in the morning
Thinking of you?
I want to say something.
I'm begging myself to say something.
But I have no guts when it comes to these things.
I could tell a guy four feet taller than me to suck my dick,
But I can't tell you how I feel.
Ironic.
Stupid.
Maybe I fear rejection or something.
But all I know is that I'm hugging a pillow on the couch
Bouncing back and forth between thoughts
My face flushed
Asking myself what the Hell is going on with me.